For many years when I’ve talked of divorce I’ve said if only our society recognized the toll it took on individuals and families––if it were considered an epidemic––the Center for Disease Control (CDC) would have made significant interventions. I made those comments long before the government’s short-sighted dismantling of the CDC, and the resulting chaos we all are now enduring with COVID-19.
Through the lack of a robust and reliable infrastructure at the CDC, and without available medical scaffolding we are now all facing what it feels like to have a societal system fail. Systemic failures alter individual choice and we are seeing that now as schools are closed and children and parents need to restructure their days and how they learn, restaurants will no longer be open for dining in, and social gatherings and celebrations have been postponed or cancelled across the board. New routines will develop as a result of these changes, and depending upon how well they work, some will undoubtedly become “the new normal”.
People are transformed on account of their experiences, and what society does to support and undergird those changes is telling. Where do we provide help, and where do we not? Through medical care, financial support, emotional scaffolding, or none of the above? Do we reach out virtually while hunkering down, or do we become insular and isolated in our own micro-worlds? What are our societal priorities locally and globally, and how do they impact children, and adults across the lifespan? What will be the long-term impact of our decisions? What we do personally and how our government responds will be the story of our values.
Although historically we somehow have had an easier time attending to broken legs than broken hearts, COVID-19 is bringing home to roost the realities of a broken CDC. Now we all watch as the government scrambles to repair a shattered system in times of crisis.
I am reminded now of two ancient eastern concepts, the first being the Chinese symbol for “crisis”, which means both danger and opportunity, and hope that during this worldwide crisis we might find a way to translate the groundswell of support for healing all those suffering with COVID-19 into a recognition of our interconnectedness, and a societal realization of our need to also support and heal restructuring families in crisis. The second is kintsukuroi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold or silver and understanding that in doing so the piece is more beautiful for having been broken; a thought that brings me back to a blogpost I wrote over three years ago in which I talked about that art form and also about Leonard Cohen’s song “Anthem” in which he sings about there being “a crack, a crack in everything…. that’s how the light gets in”. May it be so.