My twenty-year old had just asked me to spend nine days with her to tackle an enormous challenge, and the adventure of a lifetime. And I thought—if not now, when?
I began a fitness training program. I trained every day, whether I felt energized or not so much. Friends and family rallied and took early-morning and weekend hikes with me. I got those dreaded shots (which weren’t so bad). I became a regular at EMS and REI. The only new clothes I bought were WARM ones.
It didn’t occur to me, as I began down the path of conquering my fears and attempting a challenge I wasn’t at all certain I could surmount, that my journey would mirror what my clients experience as they explore the landscape of divorce and the restructuring of their families.
In order to safely navigate ourselves to the roof of Africa, I sought out an experienced adventure travel company- thomsonsafaris.com.
However, it wasn’t until I was on the mountain that I truly began to appreciate having the support of a veteran guide (who had summited Kili over 200 times). On day five at 3 o’clock in the morning, I awoke shaking with hypothermia and altitude sickness and asked my daughter to go and get Onest, our guide. His steady calm was reassuring and made me feel safe as he tested my oxygen (67 -not so good), took my temperature (41 Celsius, also not so good), wrapped me like a turkey in aluminum foil, and surrounded me with hot water bottles. I was fine by morning.
It was when I approached the rock scramble of Barranco Wall that my fear of heights kicked in. My daughter said “Don’t look down”; my guide held my hand as I negotiated the terrain, and I felt grateful to be in skilled hands. I was grateful for the strong arms that held me as I hopped over rocks and trudged through running waters. Even when I saw the glaciers rising ahead of us I still could not imagine that the summit was within my reach. The thin air and cold air made every step seem eternal.
It was hearing the comforting reassurances of someone who had traveled this journey so many times that “You are strong!” and “You can do this!” that helped get me to the summit. I knew that others had turned back because they weren’t able to sustain the journey. I felt confident that my guide could gauge my ability and therefore I could surrender the decision-making to him, even when my own instinct was to give up.
When I felt entirely spent and still had three hours of scree skiing down to our campsite, after an exhausting ten hours to the summit, it was the steady hands of my daughter, my porter, and my guide that allowed me to release my tears of elation at the reality we had in fact summited.
I do not pretend to believe that I could have conquered my fears and faced the challenges before me without the support, knowledge and confidence of my guide, my daughter and my team. I had nine days to contemplate many things. On some days my feet would travel upward and my mind would turn to my work.
At some point in my travels it became clear to me that in order for anyone to believe in herself and her goals, whatever they may be, she needs to surround herself with knowledgeable guides who believe in her, have experience and compassion and understand the “big picture” to help her accomplish the task before her. Consilium® Divorce is the process that allows us to help you summit the seemingly insurmountable.
Heidi R. Webb is the Founder of Consilium Divorce Consultations and the Consilium® Divorce Process.