When most people think of hiring a lawyer, they approach it like a straightforward transaction: you meet them and tell them what you need, and they figure out how to do it for you.
This is an overly simplistic understanding of what lawyers do, informed by movies and popular stereotypes. The ‘lawyer stuff’ that you see on TV and in the movies is part of a lawyer’s job, but it’s not as simple as all that.
In reality, practicing law—especially divorce law, which deals with people’s lives rather than just property or points of debate—is a lot more complex. There are four major approaches to handling a divorce:
- Traditional Litigation: This approach is the one most people are familiar with, where lawyers file suits, go to court, and carry out other standard legal processes.
- Mediation: In mediation, the two partners sit down with a neutral third party, who is not advising or advocating for either side, but instead is trying to help the two parties reach a mutual understanding before moving forward with filing and doing all the other ‘usual’ legal stuff.
- Collaborative Law: Collaborative law involves five people: the two partners, their lawyers, and a coach (generally a therapist) who acts as a process facilitator making sure no one’s emotions highjack the negotiations. The lawyers serve as advocates for each side, but the whole process is more open than in most litigation.
- Arbitration: Think of this as “private court”- the two partners and their lawyers make arguments and discuss their issues in front of one Arbitrator (often a retired judge), who then makes a decision based on what they present.
Each of these has its’ own particular advantages and disadvantages. By engaging in The Consilium Process, clients are educated about what their choices are and why one or another might be the best path for them. As a result they can then make an intelligent, informed decision about how they want to proceed with the restructuring of their family.
For the next few weeks, I will be writing a series of “Toolbox” articles, which will discuss each of these four approaches in depth, to help you understand what they entail, and whether this approach is right for your particular situation.
I want you to know what tools are in your Toolbox, so that you can pick the right one for the job you have ahead of you.