This article is the first of a four-part “Toolbox” series. Each of these will briefly outline one of the four major approaches to handling a divorce, and how the Consilium process integrates the approach into its model.
Let’s start with traditional litigation. This is the kind of law that you’re probably most familiar with—where lawyers file suits, go to court, and carry out other standard legal processes.
Contrary to what you may believe, this is not the only way that people handle a divorce. Today, there are several other ways to divorce and restructure a family, but many people assume that ALL divorces involve a courtroom battle for custody and flashy arguments about how their marriage has fallen apart.
That being said, there are times when traditional litigation is the best—or only—choice. I recall handling a case where the woman thought her husband was having an affair, and she was certain he was mishandling the family finances. He’d also abused her both mentally and physically. She wanted to leave or have him leave but every time she tried to discuss it with him, he would either change the subject, or refuse to deal with her in any direct way. In a case like that one, with a history of abuse, and the husband’s inability to even discuss their relationship, there is no choice but to use the structure of the court system.
Despite the need for traditional litigation, things can turn contentious when lawyers treat a divorce case like it’s just a property dispute, arguing over custody or alimony as though they’re haggling for a sale rather helping to restructure the lives of two people and their children. With the Consilium Process, we stress the importance of the people involved, so that when traditional litigation is the best path to tread, it can still be handled in a way that will honor and be favorable to all the people affected by it.